Judith Vogel had lovely hands, always perfectly manicured, and beautiful, beautiful eyes with long lashes. She taught fifth grade for most of her life in Montville, New Jersey and saved every letter her daughter Michelle wrote to her from camp as a child.
At 81, she lived alone, but she enjoyed a full social life: playing canasta and mahjong, going to movies, eating out. She had lots of friends. With this year’s pandemic restrictions, though, Judy lost all that. All she could do was sit at home and watch the news and fret. She was afraid she would get sick. And she worried about our country, all the hatred she saw. All the fear.
What she really wanted was to see her grandson get married (his wedding was postponed twice because of the pandemic). And on her birthday, November 3, she wanted to celebrate by voting for Joe Biden. He could turn things around in this country. She was convinced.
Judy will enjoy neither of these dreams. She passed away on August 20. She died, as she feared, of COVID-19.
It was a Thursday morning. Michelle hadn’t been able to get her mom on the phone for two days. She threw some things in the car and drove the 300 miles to South Florida. She made it in record time. On the way, she called her cousin who lived closer and asked her to go check. They found Judy on the floor. She had probably lain there for a full day.
When the paramedics arrived, they decided she was OK. She was conscious. She didn’t have a fever. She wasn’t coughing. They didn’t want to risk taking this elderly lady to the hospital where she might catch COVID.
When Michelle got there, her mom was sitting comfortably in a chair, sipping fluids. She made an appointment for Judy to be seen by her primary care provider the following morning. Judy had a history of urinary tract infections (UTIs). Michelle assumed that’s what was making her confused and fatigued. That and the fact that she’d lain on the floor for the last 24 hours.
Michelle, who serves as CSI Pharmacy’s Vice President of Patient Advocacy and Provider Relations, took her mom to the doctor and got her started on treatment. But that afternoon, when Judy was too weak to stand up from a chair, Michelle knew something more serious was going on.
She had to call 911. It was the only way to get her mom to the emergency room. But she couldn’t go with her; no one is allowed in hospitals these days except the patient. That evening when she called the hospital, she learned that Judy had tested positive for COVID. Judy was in ICU. Soon she would be on a ventilator. Michelle would never see her mom again.
“I was shocked,” Michelle says. “I thought she had a UTI. I didn’t put the symptoms together. I never thought of COVID.”
Looking back, Michelle realizes there were a lot of signs she missed when she talked to her mom every day. She thought, for example, that her mom’s decreased appetite was related to the isolation and depression Judy was feeling. But maybe she wasn’t eating because she couldn’t taste or smell. These are symptoms of COVID.
Judy complained of headaches and muscle aches, but she didn’t have a fever. She just thought she was coming down with a cold. When Michelle talked to her mom’s best friend, though, she said Judy had been coughing for weeks. Maybe she’d been sick for weeks, but no one realized it. Judy didn’t like to bother anyone.
The thought of her mother lying on the floor alone all day and all night before she was finally found will never leave Michelle. But even as she moves through her own grief, Michelle wants her family’s experience to serve as a lesson for others.
“Isolation is hard on everyone,” she says, “but it is especially difficult for our seniors. It affects us both physically and emotionally. It can be really horrible. But as much as people want to be more socially active and get back to their lives, this virus is going to go on for years. And the more complacent we are, the more severe it will be. We can’t assume COVID hasn’t affected anyone in our personal circle. We still need to take precautions. We need to be safe.”
Secondly, she wants people to be aware that COVID is a threat that is with us everywhere, and that coronavirus should be at the top of our minds at all times.
“We don’t really understand all the symptoms of COVID-19,” she says. “A lot of patients never present with a fever, but they have all these other symptoms: severe headaches, body pain, diarrhea, rashes, weakness, tingling toes…all kinds of things. We need to understand that there are many more symptoms than just the cough and fever that you always hear about. And if you are feeling bad, you need to get yourself to the doctor.”